Dr. Kim Burns

We are back from our annual family vacation at Cape Cod (“The Cape” for us locals), and while we were there my husband and I celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary.

We celebrated at The Ocean House where we enjoyed an outdoor dinner overlooking the ocean. While we were there, we brainstormed our secrets to a quarter century of staying together (I guess one of our secrets is that my husband indulges me when we make lists such as this!).

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Here is what we came up with:

  1. Refrain from commenting when your partner hovers over the chips and salsa.
  2. Learn new things together.
  3. Support each other’s independent endeavors.
  4. Be willing to negotiate.
  5. Have similar values.
  6. Reflect and learn together.
  7. Travel to new places together.
  8. Commit to being individuals, together.
  9. Be honest with each other.
  10. Be comfortable sitting together in silence.
  11. Schedule date nights and follow through with them.
  12. Accept that you will have different interests.
  13. Accept each other’s flaws (we all have them).
  14. Do fun things as a couple.
  15. Play to each other’s strengths.
  16. Be adventurous together.
  17. Listen to each other’s music (as difficult as that can be).
  18. Work on developing your listening skills.
  19. Make your partner laugh before important medical procedures.
  20. Parent a puppy together before having children.
  21. Live together before getting married.
  22. Be flexible.
  23. Talk about the hard stuff.
  24. Make room for healthy competition.
  25. Take lots of selfies together.
Selfie of a couple
Taking a selfie together.

What are your secrets to staying together?

Email me at [email protected] or connect with me on Instagram at @drkimburns.

You can also sign up for my newsletter, Some Things to Think About, which I send out every two months.

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