Dr. Kim Burns

I’ve been repeating this all week in different online and IRL (in real life) spaces. In this season of holiday photo cards and idyllic social media posts, it’s easy to think that everyone else has things figured out while you plod along. It’s not true. While we all have different levels of confidence – depending on the moment – no one has everything figured out all the time (ok – maybe Oprah does). We are all second-guessing ourselves.

Comparison sucks the joy out of life and puts us in scarcity mode.

It robs us of our individuality and uniqueness. According to Brené Brown,

When you allow comparison, competition, and conformity to take over, you lose sight of your inherent worthiness. You begin to base your self-worth on how well you match up against others—on how well you’re conforming. You think you’ll only be worthy if you meet certain standards of behavior. This is incompatible with the unconditional self-acceptance that underpins true worthiness.

Here are a few strategies I am currently using to move away from negative self-talk, unrealistic expectations for myself, and comparison

  1. Mantras – I get a daily affirmation from my I Am app. I also chose a word for my 2021-2022 year – THRIVE. It’s on a sticky note on my computer monitor and inspires me daily.
  2. Connection – sharing my thoughts with people I trust and asking for a reality check helps. A lot.
  3. Community – being in spaces with like-minded people (women professionals, higher ed folks, coaches, small business owners) is good for my soul.
  4. Reflection – daily journaling and end-of-year reflection are a healthy way of digesting all that has happened this year and provide valuable perspective.

My wish for you these next few weeks is to let go of comparing yourself to others and remind yourself of your unique strengths and gifts that you bring to the world.

Have a good week, my friends.

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